Saturday, January 14, 2012

Breakdown

I wrote this out early yesterday morning and didn't post it, I really debated on it but I felt like I should write it so I feel like I should share it:

 I have to say even after growing up in the army you are not prepared for this. I havent heard a single word since sunday night. Hearing all my military friends say they got more contact when their spouses were deployed sucks, I am hating where jer is right now. I am hoping he will write. I do have to say its frustraing that everyone thinks they help by telling you to look at the positive, stay strong, could be worse, its not that long. I know all these things and truly hearing them makes you feel like you are doing even crappier than you orignially thought.  I am trying here ok, I may not do well but I am doing my best. I miss my husband like crazy, I dont think its bad I want to talk to him. I dont think its wrong to expect a few phone calls. I do guess its wrong to expect the army to care he has a family at home waiting and wishing they knew something, silly me. I should have known better, yes..does it help if I dont let jer know life sucks here, yes... Can I get through this, yes... Easily, No! I have lost so much in my life and have had so many people leave that this hurts. I am trying very hard to hold it together but it would be nice if the Army would throw those of us at home a bone. We are important too

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